Half-nurse

Today's the day of our inauguration into half-nursedom. Half-nurses know important terms such as:

**scrotal tongue: usually non-pathological, but nonetheless good to have in a working vocabulary. For example: "give him 240 cc's PO. No, make it 245 cc's to account for the absorbant fissures in his scrotal tongue." Or, how about: "He's developing scrotal tongue he's so parched." Or maybe: "bring Daddy a cold one to wet his scrotal tongue." Yes, this is a real term, and Emily's not going to let you forget it.

**black hairy tongue: black fungus of the tonuge, exacerbated by smoking and chewing tobacco. even nurses think this is gross. come on, we're not that out of touch.



**toxic megacolon: self-defined term, making it absolutely impossible not to burst out laughing in class when it's mentioned. if it shows up on our test today, i expect to have even less control over an outburst. toxic megacolon! oh, that's rich. and fatal. don't forget fatal.


Okay, 2 hours to go...